


I’ll never love again

by orphan_account



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Eleven isn’t doing well, F/M, Johnathon isn’t doing well, Joyce isn’t doing well, Oh My God, Sad Joyce Byers, They’re all not doing well, oof
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-09
Updated: 2019-12-09
Packaged: 2021-02-26 00:14:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,257
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21724333
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: ”He’s not coming back.” Joyce hiccuped barley noticing how Jonathon was trying to lead her back to her chair, how many of the crowd had began to disperse away from her.Jonathon gulped looking at the space behind her, wanting nothing more than to be able to answer that question with the word she wanted.“No,” He shook his head wiping at his eyes, “No, he’s not.”OrIt’s Hopper’s funeral and Joyce is having a hard time reading out the speech she wrote for him. This hurt my heart.
Relationships: Joyce Byers & Jim "Chief" Hopper, Joyce Byers/Jim "Chief" Hopper
Comments: 1
Kudos: 16





	I’ll never love again

**Author's Note:**

> Jopper deserves a happy ending

𝚆𝚒𝚜𝚑 𝙸 𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍, 𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍'𝚟𝚎 𝚜𝚊𝚒𝚍 𝚐𝚘𝚘𝚍𝚋𝚢𝚎  
𝙸 𝚠𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍'𝚟𝚎 𝚜𝚊𝚒𝚍 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝙸 𝚠𝚊𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚘  
𝙼𝚊𝚢𝚋𝚎 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚗 𝚌𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚍 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚢𝚘𝚞  
𝙸𝚏 𝙸 𝚔𝚗𝚎𝚠 𝚒𝚝 𝚠𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚋𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚕𝚊𝚜𝚝 𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚎  
𝙸 𝚠𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍'𝚟𝚎 𝚜𝚙𝚕𝚒𝚝 𝚖𝚢 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚝 𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚠𝚘  
𝚃𝚛𝚢𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚘 𝚜𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚊 𝚙𝚊𝚛𝚝 𝚘𝚏 𝚢𝚘𝚞

\----------------------------

“And now some special words from a very _special_ friend.” The priest smiled at her, his voice sounding much too happy for a funeral a entertainer at a child’s birthday would be an ideal for him.

The crowd shuffled in their seats to get a better look at her as she stood up from her place in the front row. Will and Jonathon exchanged a concerned look knowing of the fact that their mom hadn’t slept all night too plagued by making the perfect speech. Too plagued by the fact that the funeral she had put together wasn’t good enough.

Everyone stayed quiet as she took her place in front of them the priest squeezing her shoulder in some sought of reassurance. She didn’t look at Hopper’s picture as she walked past otherwise she wouldn’t have been able to take another step.

Joyce above all felt like she shouldn’t be the person who stood in front of his coffin and spoke in honour of him. It was almost as if she wasn’t worthy. And being described as a _special_ friend? What did that even mean? Joyce bit her lip, but as she thought she realised special really was a good way to describe their relationship.

_  
“So please, for my sake, either quit your bickering or pull over, tear off those clothes and get it over with already!”_

_Joyce felt herself go into complete and utter shock. Sure Murray had been analysing them since they’d stepped into his house and more than happy to share his thoughts, but that. That was something else entirely.  
_

_  
Had Bob really been a desperate attempt to find ‘a nice guy to settle down with’? And surely she didn’t think of Hopper in that- Shit, she was staring at his lap. When did that happen? And oh shit did he notice? He defiantly noticed.  
_

_Shit._

She would have let El make a speech for her dad but she hardly spoke now. Her already limited speech moving into a bare minimum. She didn’t want Joyce’s poor excuse of home she wanted her dad back. How could it be a home if everyone living inside it was so broken? The tape that kept them patched up ripped away all too suddenly.

“I wanted to- to thank, um-“ She looked down at the crumpled paper weighed down like a stone in her hand, everything was written, everything that she had denied out for anybody to see. Well, except him, “Thank everybody for coming.”

_“Mr Cooper caught us that one time, remember?” Hopper launches into his impression, “Hey assholes-“_

_Joyce sat up a little straighter feeling almost giddy from simply reminiscing about times that weren’t plagued with other dimensions, “We ran, we just ran.”  
_

_She remembered how they had held hands, snickering as Mr Cooper’s shouts became distant the cigarette still hanging loosely from Hopper’s mouth. Joyce burst into laughter for the first time in months surprising even herself. But Hop, Hop had just gazed at her with that same strong amount of affection they’d had so long ago._

Joyce stared down at her sloppy writing eyes fixed down because if she started looking at everybody she will lose it, “At fist I-“ Her voice sounded small in her own ears, a sob from El enough to make tears form her eyes, “I didn’t know how I could-“

_Joyce closed her eyes tightly the screams around her sounding too much like Will when he had that thing inside of him. The ride only seemed to be getting faster, the pounding in her head growing with every spin.  
_

_She peeled open her eyes at the feeling of Hopper’s hand brushing against hers, they locked eyes and- God, did Hopper look scared? Well a mixture of fear and wanting to throw up. Joyce threaded her fingers through his grounding herself by holding onto him. What surprised her was how tightly he held on, how much just being there he could make her feel safe.  
_

_Once the ride had stopped he looked down at her his mouth parted, some sought of emotion written all over his face. Joyce stared back trying to figure out what that emotion was._

Joyce then made the mistake of looking up at his photo. His silent face seeming to look right at her with that intense look he used gave her. That look that made her feel like she was someone. A look she wouldn’t get again.

She wiped at her cheek roughly with her sleeve desperately willing the tears to stop because there was so many people watching. Her breathing became more sharp, her hands clammy and- God, could the world just stop _spinning._

  
_“Picking you up, seven pm. Friday.” Hopper went over slowly his eyebrows furrowed.  
_

_“Yeah it’s a date.”  
_

_Joyce couldn’t help but smile up at his baffled face, she couldn’t help wanting to kiss that face._

  
”Mom?” Will dragged her out of the past, splattering her back into his funeral. His _funeral, “_ Are you okay?”   
  


She opened her mouth ready to brush of the question but paused trying to hold back the feelings swirling inside her. But she couldn’t.

A single tear traced down Joyce’s cheek pink with the cold and just like that floodgates opened. Tears burst from her like water from a dam, spilling down her face. She breathed heavier than she ever had before, gasping for the air that had disappeared. Her throat burned in a silent scream, her legs felt like they would soon collapse beneath her.

_”But you have something that I never had. You have people that know what you’ve been through. You have people that care about you. Right here. In Hawkins.”_

Hands were supporting her arms, a voice trying its best to snap her out of whatever she was in. She cried as if her insides were being burned, beaten. From her mouth came a cry so affected by the morning of Hopper that the crowd around her felt tears come to their eyes. Joyce grabbed onto Jonathon so that her shaking would not cause her to fall.   
  


”He’s not coming back.” Joyce hiccuped barley noticing how Jonathon was trying to lead her back to her chair, how many of the crowd had began to disperse away from her.   
  


Jonathon gulped looking at the space behind her, wanting nothing more than to be able to answer that question with the word she wanted.   
  
“No,” He shook his head wiping at his eyes, “No, he’s not.” 

  
”Why don’t you- I can meet up with you guys at the- the food bit. Just um-“ She blinked slowly trying to erase the voices in her head, his voice, “Make sure El is- is okay. Well, as okay as she-“ 

“Okay,” Jonathon replied reflecting her small smile, “Take as long as you want.”

Joyce watched as he turned and walked away wondering what she had done to be blessed with sons like hers. 

She gravitated towards his grave and simply stared at it, her eyes unseeing.   
  
  
_“It is true what they say you know, every day it does get a little easier.” Hopper wrapped his arm around her and pressed a kiss to her head, that familiar feeling fluttered through her stomach._  
  


In that moment Joyce got the feeling that this wasn’t ever going to easier. 

**Author's Note:**

> Jopper has destroyed me


End file.
